Tubin' Laos, Dude

Throughout our travels, we've been told about the wonders of Laos - cheap, beautiful, fun, outdoorsy & how SE Asia used to be. It seems to be the #1 destination on the established backpacker trail through Asia, which is fed intravenously by Lonely Planet books (see future blog entry).

No matter what else anyone said about Laos, without a miss, they all mentioned tubing in Vang Vieng. We had even seen backpackers proudly sporting their "tubing Laos" t-shirts in S. Thailand. Who are we to buck backpacker tradition in Laos and not go tubing?

Here's the drill - you go to the tube shop, give them $10, with $6 of the $10 a deposit, returnable if the tube is back by 6 PM. The giant tractor inner tubes are then loaded onto a tuk tuk and off you go to the river.

Let Spring Break Laos-style begin. Bob Marley is pulsating up the river valley and the first bar can be visited before even dipping a toe in the water. Nothing like a little beer or cocktail to get you situated for your day of tubing, sans life jacket. This is Asia after all.

Signs at the put-in say "Dont tip the children as it encourages them to skip school." We weren't exactly sure what this meant, but we would soon find out.

We set off with an Irish trio, a Finn & a Swede in the fast-flowing brown river in a light rain. Not 200 yards into the tubing experience, while our butts were still relatively dry, we spotted the second bar. Small children stand on bamboo pilings at the shore and throw water bottles on strings or pass long bamboo rods to passing 'tubers' to reel them in like giant fish. This can be both difficult and comical as the river is flowing quickly with lots of swirling water close to shore.

Each bar along the way is essentially the same rickety bamboo structure on the side of the river cranking Bob Marley, selling Beer Lao & giving away free Lao Lao shots, Laos rice whiskey, something akin to moonshine. Some of the bars even have second story towers with trapezes to swing out into the water.

It is utterly surreal. The Farang (Asian name for foreigners) are eating this up. Drunken Farangs are falling out of their tubes while being pulled to shore by 75 lbs. grade school children. After successfully landing on solid ground and having a drink or three, Farangs are then swinging from trapezes, narrowly missing the originating bamboo towers when they hang on too long.

Prior to tubing, we had noticed quite a few limping, bandaged backpackers around town and now we figured out why.

We decided to pull over at the third bar. Stephen and I got off the river with relative grace, although the two third-graders pulling me to shore almost gave themselves a hernia.

Not so for our Irish friends. The first Irish lassie pulled a child into the drink who was attempting to reel her in and a second child aborted his rescue mission after he too was pulled into the river. We were to see her eventually way down river. The second Irish lassie lost her tube while being pulled to shore, but her husband was able to dive in and save the tube.(see photo) Complete and utter hilarity.

After drinking the requisite Beer Lao and doing one swing from the trapeze, we set off down river with no other stops at the eight plus bars offering refreshments to the parched tubers. About 7:30 that night, we saw a barefoot girl in a string bikini stumbling around town in the dark with her tube. We don't think she got her $6 deposit back.

After speaking with many experienced tubers in our travels in Laos, we heard horror stories of near drownings, people stuck in reeds in the river until midnight and about many a trip to the hospital in Vang Vieng.

AS THE TUK TUK SPUTTERS...
We are back in Luang Prabang, having just spent some time in a remote area of N. Laos. We trekked to a hill tribe only accessible by foot through mud, rice fields, mountains and jungle. We overnighted in the village with a family and had the unique opportunity to learn more about the culture of the various tribes. We leave for Vietname on Saturday and are still having a fantastic journey.

Notes On Turning 42

42 - double the legal drinking age. If that doesn't make you feel old, I don't know what does.
However, spending your 42nd day in Laos is definitely the way to go.
We woke up in Vientiane, the sleepy capitol of Laos. Laos is a former French colony and it retains some of the old world European charm, including good coffee and baguettes. A plus in the land of rice and nescafe.

After slurping down a creamy cappuchino, Stephen and I took a tuk tuk, basically a motorcycle pulling some enclosed seats, to the bus station. The buses consisted of small Toyota pick-ups with a covers and benches in the back. This was our transport for the next several hours. the pick-up was loaded down with more produce than your average Safeway sells in a week, including 20 lbs. of green onion inside the passenger area. Stephen got to snuggle up to the onions for the journey.


Riding in the truck, called a sangthew, is close quarters at the best of times. At one point, we had ten people in the back and four up front, plus the driver. Our 'neighbors' were so gracious despite the complete language barrier; they shared fruit and baguettes with us and we shared baby wipes and gum with them.

After a few hours, we left our new friends to hook up with our kayak guides. We paddled in inflatable kayaks on the Nam Lik River. The river was brown due to the monsoon rains that seem to pull down half the riverbank everyday. The riverside was jungle - green, luscious & wet.

After a great day on the river, we were driven to Vang Vieng in the back of another pick-up truck. Vang Vieng is a former military airstrip turned into backpacker central. Think international Spring break.

Restaurants all serve the exact same menu of international greatest hits - pizza, burgers, fried rice and the potent Beer Lao. Each of these places plays episodes of ''Friends" repeatedly throughout the day and night. You can be at one restaurant and literally hear four episodes of Friends at other places, all different episodes, all with the same annoying laugh track.


Vang Vieng is famous for 'tubing'- more on that in a future blog. What the town itself lacks in charm, the setting more than makes up for it. After a dinner, had a three dollar massage and then settled down for the night in a riverside bungalow with a couple of Beer Laos and took in the view. Not bad for an old lady!

AS THE TUK SPUTTERS...

We are in Luang Prabang, definitely our favorite place in Asia. It is a charming, French colonial town set in the mountains of Laos right on the Mekong river. It is littered with Buddhist temples, beautiful architecture and excellent food. We've trekked to hilltribe villages, shopped for handmade Laotian goods in the night market and just relaxed in this beautiful setting. Tomorrow we are off further North to spend a few days living a treehouse surrounded by Gibbon monkeys.

Climbing in Thailand

First word - SWEATY.
Imagine being blinded by water pouring off your own eyebrows while reaching for a hold. Think of coming off a climb and literally needing to wring out your shirt. Picture chalking up simply to stop the water flow on your palms.


Second word - MOSQUITO

Imagine belaying with mosquito coils burning at your feet with the sweet toxic smell burning your nostrils. Think of being bitten while hanging on for dear life. Picture coming home at the end of the day covered in itchy red bumps.

Third word - POLISHED (as the British climbers would say)

Imagine reaching for a nice big hold only to have your fingers slip off it because a thousand other hands have been on that same piece of limestone. Think of shiny, pretty rock that is hard to hold. Picture an area filled with Thai guides while white clients sweat all over the climbs.

Fourth word - MONKEYS

Picture starting to climb only to be stopped by a pack of monkeys scurrying up the rock wall with ease. Imagine jumping out the way to avoid being peed on by a monkey thirty feet over your head. Think of monkeys literally blocking your path to a climbing area.

Fifth word - GARBAGE
Imagine arriving at the climbing sight to see a pile of styrofoam to-go boxes, water bottles and cigarette butts. Think of Thai guides belaying with cigarettes in mouth and casually tossing the butts aside. Picture random bottle tops, mosquito coils and glass around the belay station.

Sixth word - PARADISE

Imagine jaw-dropping views of crystaline turquoise waters with limestone cliffs in the backround. Think of living in a $9/night bungalow on stilts with the sound of monkeys in the background. Picture swimming in the sea after a challenging climb.

Climbing in Krabi at Railay and Tonsai beaches was absolutely our favorite part of the trip thus far. We met amazing people from around the world, challenged ourselves mentally and physically, and loved the outdoor playground we spent seven days exploring.

AS THE TUK TUK SPUTTERS...
After 10 plus days in Southern Thailand, we are now in Northern Laos. Laos is amazing. It is really mountainous with lots of rivers. The people are super-chill. They call themselves lazy. We have been kayaking and tubing so far in Laos. Tomorrow we head to Unesco World-Heritage site, the city of Luang Prabang.